Drunk

I’m a wine judge, I mean blogger

Over the next two days I will be judging in the Green Wine awards This means tasting through 60-odd organic wines, and over 100 BWI wines. (BWI wines are produced on farms that had dedicated a certain amount of land to the local fauna and flora – no guarantee of quality) The reason for this competition has always eluded me. Much like the terroir wine awards (What, like every single wine on the fucking planet?) and the young wine awards (what, like nearly every wine entered into local awards?).

But I am happy to join in the absurdity. I don’t get to do enough of this serious, and intense tasting. (Probably because I am not a wine judge) Then what are you doing judging wines, I hear you ask. Well, I have been drafted in, along with Johnothan Snashall (@wholebunchpress) to be a bloggers judges.

What this means I have no idea. I think it may be analogous to having a young writer on a script writing team so they can “keep in touch with the youth.” I hope I am wrong, because Jono and myself are as crotchety an old as anyone, no matter our ages.

It is possible that people believe that bloggers taste differently to people who write for printed publications; or maybe are just different from official judges. Who knows? I’ll ask Christiaan Eedes what he thinks as he seems to be straddling both categories very well.

I am not sure how our scores are going to be used as we are bloggers not judges. Secretly I am hoping there is going to be a special ‘boggers’ sticker’ for the wines Jonathan and score highest. Producers reading this who have entered wines are hoping strenuously that this is not the case.

It’s a great job, even if only for two days. We get to taste wine for two days. Hah. I know some judges and writers like to remind – they are only reminding everyone who does not get to do this – how strenuous the whole endeavor is.

“It requires serious concentration.” (yeah, so does landing a rocket on mars, you don’t see NASA reminding everyone every 5 minutes)

“After a full day you will be surprised how exhausted you are.” (yeah, exhausted from tasting wine. That’s like being exhausted from eating too much, or too much sex, or ice-cream, or, what ever it’s not like we’re mining.”

Compared to 99% of other tasks humans have to accomplish daily, wine tasting is a complete and total walk in the park; a really good walk, in dappled sunlight with a game of Frisbee thrown in, and a sneaky joint behind an old oak.

I’m not going to complain. That is, unless the wines are kak. Then I’m going to complain in vociferously good humour.

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